You said you won’t stop me drinking. Can I drink during our sessions?
No you bloody can’t! If you can’t put down the bottle for the 50 minutes we’re together, you’re likely too far gone for me to help. And that doesn’t mean you can arrive to our sessions drunk, off your face, or otherwise out of it, either. Should that be the case, the session will be cancelled and no refund will be given, as per our Terms and Conditions (see “Refund Policy” and “Termination of Services”).
What if it doesn’t work for me or we don’t “click”? Do I get a refund?
No, not really. Whether it works is kind of up to you, and generally speaking I don’t offer refunds, as per our Terms and Conditions (see “Refund Policy”). As to whether we click, I highly recommend you book a free 15-minute call with me before signing up for anything, to see how suitable we would be working together.
How much does it cost?
Cheaper than a lifetime of drinking. All prices for the services I offer can be found here.
Do you guarantee confidentiality?
Of course! Whatever gossip, scandal, or dark secrets you divulge, nothing will leave the session. I’m pretty much unshockable. Keep in mind that, depending on what you tell me, there may be times where I suggest professional medical or psychological assistance, or break this confidentiality, as per our Terms and Conditions (see “My Obligations to You”, “Danger to Self or Others”, and “Confidentiality”).
Do you deal with drugs as well as alcohol?
Yes, but while I’ve consumed most of the drugs going, the only ones I took on a regular basis were ketamine and ecstasy. Yes, drugs always played a massive part in my life, and I can help pass on my knowledge of how to stay clean. However, if you’re a massive coke-head or junkie, you might not feel I have the real-world experience to help you.
Will you stop me drinking?
That’s like asking a person trainer if they’ll give you a six pack. If you don’t have the drive and put in the effort, then I can’t help you. I can give you all the support, guidance, and strategies in the world, but unless you want to make a change, you won’t. I’m honestly more than happy to take your money, but if the decision to stop isn’t there, then it’ll be a waste of your time.
Do you only see people in person?
I fucking hate zoom! I spend the whole time looking at myself, and find it impossible to build rapport. I would always prefer to see people face to face, but if you absolutely cannot get to central London, and depending on how well we communicate during our initial chat, I will consider doing sessions over the phone.
Do I need to stop drinking forever?
That’s entirely up to you. I would hope after we’ve deconstructed your beliefs about alcohol, and developed some robust strategies for stopping, you’ll choose to stop all together. However, the choice is entirely yours, and I won’t judge you if you decide to head off into the sunset with a bottle of whiskey!
What’s the difference between you and a therapist?
Unlike therapists, I’m not interested in dwelling on the past. Rather than endless navel-gazing, I offer a practical approach, helping you develop solutions to deal with the here and now.
I also don’t belong to any regulating body, so I can essentially do whatever the hell I like. My approach is direct and no nonsense. However, should your stopping drinking uncover some long-buried trauma, it’s likely I’d suggest some professional medical or psychological assistance, as per our Terms and Conditions (see “My Obligations to You”).
