What I am is a personal trainer for sobriety. A sober coach, if you like.
I’m not here to heal your trauma. I’m not here to listen to your sob stories. I’m not here to ruin your fun. I’m here to hold you accountable — because it’s about time someone did.
In the same way a personal trainer won’t drag your fat, lazy arse to the gym, I won’t drag your drunken arse away from the bar.
What I can do is help you end your poisonous relationship with alcohol, but only if you’re truly ready to get your shit together.
I don’t care if you’re about to hit rock bottom — or even if you’re there already. I don’t care about your past, your guilt, your shame, or your regrets.
What I care about is guiding you towards a healthy and happy lifestyle, holding you accountable, changing your perspective, giving your clarity, and helping you move towards a place where you’re genuinely excited to stop drinking.
You’re under no obligation to be the same person you were 5 minutes ago
The dreary rooms, the boring and repetitive stories, as well as the hyperfixation on the number of days sober is enough to make anyone drink. The gatekeepers of sobriety boast a pitiful 2% success rate, so don’t worry if you’ve tried AA and it hasn’t worked for you: you’re in the overwhelming majority.
I did AA, stood up and declared myself an alcoholic, and even went to rehab twice. Over 15 years ago, I turned my back on the cult that told me THIS was the only way. I then embarked upon a different route that led to my stopping drinking.
My methods aren’t like other coaches’, who might soften their tone, hold your hand, and tell you, “There, there”. I don’t have time for drama or histrionics — and neither do you.
Instead of endless navel-gazing, I’ll give you practical solutions to break your obsession with alcohol, deal with cravings and boredom, set goals, learn real confidence, avoid catastrophe, and gain lasting sobriety.
I’ll be harsh. I’ll be honest. I won’t tell you what you want to hear. I might encourage you to relapse. But among everything I’ll also be one of the most compassionate people you’ll ever work with. After all, I’ve been there, done that, got my 15-year proverbial chip, only I did it my way — and you can too.
